Something is missing indeed... I dunno but I am feeling for past few days that its really something that is missing... I am not doing justice to my potential as a person.What am I doing ? I am working as Software engineer where i am doing coding in JAVA/J2EE , a bit of analysis, etc.. Dats the not thing I want to actually do? Don't ask me then what I need to do?I want to do a lot more than what I am currently doing since I feel the work I am doing is something that anyone can do given some learning.Then how am I different from others? I need to create that difference in me...How to create ? I dunno but I am working towards it.

The thing is, I feel that when we are in this world, we should make our existence count.Currently I feel its not the case.Out of 24 hours, if I spend 12 hours in the office and just doing coding, then what's the use? The question is: " Am I really adding any value to me ?".Let me tell you one thing I know my critics say:"You are very impatient !! Just wait for the things ".Somehow my theory in life is totally different.Here is what I believe: " Don't wait for things to happen,just make it happen" .Mebbe due to this I am always impatient, but I am happy to be like that.

Life is short boss, so we need to make our each moves count and I don't want to be late in that.Einstein used his 5-6% of brains and became so popular and we, average human beings just use 1% of the brains.So imagine how much potential we own and how much are we using it.

Boss time has come for the volcano to erupt.I am ready to gamble but don't want a routine boring life where I am paid for my work.I am much more than that.

I was discussing the same with my college mate Amit Jain who himself is currently working as Software engineer with Polaris Labs,Mumbai.He was also supportive in my thoughts and we just came to a point where we thought we can aim to be future enterpreneurs.I know its too early to make such a statement, but again Amit reminded me something by saying: " Saurabh you made a statement few years back about Modish and we all thought it was just a joke and you made it happen,So you can do it" That was quite a motivational thought by Amit.We have spent some good time, infact 4 years in college together.People used to call us Lambu-Chotu,coz I was too tall and he was too short.lol.Jitendra Verma(Software engineer with ITTI ,Bangalore) is no more an exception to this thought.He is our own Jitu, one of the beloved gangsters of our gang.Myself,amit,Jitu had a strong bonding which still exists though we are at different positions and companies.Jitu also thought and added by saying that he is also fed up with this Software engineering bit.Let me tell you we are not demotivated to say all this.It's just we want to take a step ahead in our career and do something different so that we can be futuristic Ambani's,Tata's but surely not Bill Gates ;) .

Carrying this thought in mind, We are working towards something.Just wait for sometime and you will see that something is what we call it as R 4 "REALITY"

December 25th,2005, Another day of celebration and this time its C 4 Christmas.I have always heard that people from Europe and US are more crazy for this day but it seems that indians are catching up there.We have lods of festivals in India but i doubt the hunger for party time, enjoying holidays & Fun is unending in this country..Yeah i am talking about INDIA, our own HINDUSTAN.

Nevertheless it was quite a pleasant feeling for the whole day as in something is there in air today.Everyone including me was waiting for Santa to gift something.I dunno about others but he was unfair to me as I dint find anything in my plate.

Boy i forgot that 26th is the date for my MCA exams and this time it was Operating Systems.No issues as usual & as casual; i was always, i am currently. lol. You wont belive it, it is 5 in the evening and i just gotta know that i dont have the book from which i am supposed to prepare for the next day's paper.Shucks... But i think i got an excuse for not doing well.Anyways i just went to far-off market and was lucky enough to finally find a book for myself, not that i wanted to finish it in one night.After all i am born intelligent.Was it confidence or over confidence? Well if its over confidence i dont mind falling on the higher side.

Christmas !-! I wanted to celebrate it but dint get any company whom i can ask for? Who says i dint get any company? Lemme correct myself, i enjoy my company also.So was at home and just surfing and for a change for sometime went through some topics so that i get something to write.

It's 9:30 in the night and here comes my college mate online and says in a very typical Desi way,"PADHLE kal exam hai?" Look i have got such caring friends but what the hell was he doing in an offline mode.lol.Anyways then one of my friends called me up and we talked for about 2-3 hours as she was leaving for bangalore.And my clock said, Mr.Saurabh its 4 in the morning and what are your plans for the coming time? I responded saying, "well BAHOOT PADH LIYA aaj, its 4 o'clock in the morning , so i should sleep...After all it wasa tough day indeed".

And i find myself on bed..Really guys i am studying too much these days...What say ?? Any thoughts rather any useful thoughts :)

Hazy & Musical Day --> Saurabh Rocks

Chilly times in Delhi. Winter setting in.17th Dec,2005,its 11 a.m. and i find myself in bed.Ooops, its lil late; infact too late.Ooutta bed, scanning through maah computer.Thats the beginning of the fresh day, a day full of mystical music for me.

I dunno know why Bluffmaster is rocking my ears for the day.Starting the day with Abhishek Bacchan's :Come To Me, Bhool Jaye Sara Jahaan..Ek main aur Ek Tu Hai, Aur hawa mein Jadoo hai...

Its awsome song and seems Abhishek is on song in this mindboggling song.Amazing songs these.... So brilliantly written...

Got a chance to see this song later in the evening at my relative's place and boy abhishek, priyanka and even riteish are sizzling in new looks.

The day started like this and after some time i thought lets take a bath.Its been quite a time i have taken a bath;) and today seemed to be a perfect ocassion, a long awaiting one ;)

You know what, after having a bath i thought , we can have regular baths.Anyways so finally i dont need to live on deodarants.

For a change, i cooked today.Mind you i am a good cook and today was the day to cook my favorite PULAO.To my liking it was tasty..yummmy.. delicious.. lods of words which really cant be expressed.

The day passed away so soon and in the evening I was at realtive's place to have some delicious food and homely environment.

Thats it and again its late nite and i am finding myself infront of computer.Bluffmaster or me the Tuffmaster :)

Ciao, Tomorrow with Indo-Srilanka match, the third round of battle...

The Lost World......

World of Glamour...Neva had anything in mind to be part of the journey but it happened.Not just it happened, it happened a quite a young age.I still remember that i was a shy fella .. still remember when friends of my sister used to turn up and i used to hide myself behing the curtains, lock myself in the room.

Still cant forget that day, when i was in class 7th and i just changed my school and a girl asked me very innocently: " Are you from boy's school ?? , You dint have any girls in the school". I couldnt really understand the intention of such a question and i found myself in a groove.Inadvertently, i said Nopes.
But somewhere at the back of my mind, i thought something is missing in life .. that crux is indeed lost somwhere.Here is what i was --- :)

Somehow my sister helped me in coming outta it.She asked me to change my personality to perfection, nd suggested me to step up into gears.Well, then came modelling, yeah to my surprise.

I managed good results in academics as always and cleared class 12th and then it was ride for much awaited adventurous journey.I got admission in IT college in jaipur and henceforth a change to go out of indore and start a new career.Again the focus was studies, but this time modelling came on the way.First time, started with STUDIO BIG BOSS in jaipur.

Those ramps were indeed fascinating and presenting you infront of 1000s of lads was indeed an experience worth remembering.I was somehow becoming confident in my goes.I was really enjoying my role as a model(so called).

I did dozens of shows thereafter with good names in jaipur including Studio Big Boss,Rajshree groups,Blasters,Rahul Taneja, etc.But this book was completed when i got a chance to be part of Mr.Rajasthan Purush 2002, a modelling & talent hunt which is quite hyped in Rajasthan atleast, if not in india.Cleared rounds as they were coming and it was unbelieveable coz i neva had any intention of clearing 6 rounds.A 4 day stay at city's 5 start comfort Hotel Clarks Amer for all the participants was quite an experience to cherish.It felt really great to see people looking after you as if you are some great personalities.Those practice sessions with hot models... ouchh i slipped .. mmmm..Thats why its good to practice then to stare ;)

Finally some tense & anxious moments and i was announced to be the finalist and i was simply out of my chairs.Cool dude !! Thats wat was the reaction of some of those evenet management people.I started feeling as if i am something.Mind you i dont look so appealing but yaah not that bad also.I always thought this height of 6'2'' is something which i shoulnt be having since i used to stand at last in the school days and used to be a back bencher as well.But somehow it came off well for me in this field.

Anyways, finally i was amongst the top 5 finalists but that was it for me coz i was not the winner.But still dint have regretsSo i became from so called model to Mr.Model , thats great isnt it?

Then it seems it was not the end of it.I had something else to prove to someone.I came up with my own Event Management company by the name MODISH in 2002 which was indeed a bold move at a very young age of 20.I agree it was nota well planned event, but promoted some good models in indore and got some good attention of media.I had lots of interviews and it was a great feeling to be part of such a big event.Somehow i feel i could have made it a real experience but some people ditched me at wrong time to carry on this event.

I dint give up and managed it on my own and i realised that BOSS whenever you are down and under, family comes the first.I got lot of encouragement from my family.I cant forget my dad calling me up and signing a complete blank cheque book and handing it over to me saying " Beta you are a fighter, dont let us down, you need to prove us you can do it alone".I know it might sound a bit filmy, but this was the reality.I fought it all alone and when i completed the show i hugged my dad and was all in tears.Shows i am emotional person as well; oh ya i am a cancerian.

One popular question in the due course from media was:

" You are too young to carry on such a mission of promoting models; How do you see it going forward ?" and i think they got their answers after the event.Thanks mom, dad,manisha and nidhi.You are great; simply great.I am falling short of words for you guys.

I think its becoming little serious now.ahan.Lets change the track.But you know what after being in modelling for past 4 or 5 years, still i am single and here is a common question girls ask me-"Why are you still a single; why not a GF ?".Can someone answer this for me ?? I would really appreciate it.

But the truth and the fact is i am still a single; ready to mingle !!!!

Now no more shows as i have moved to a new horizon in my career.Finally, i moved out of jaipur and i am in delhi, the city better termed as DILWALON KI DILLI.Definitely i am now in a new role -Software Professional.I am enjoying it.

So thats it for the day... I know it was quite a long blog but just thought of putting my past experiences as well memories in words.At times i feel this is what motivates me and encourages me.You guys can try it out.Enjoy !!!